It has been a week of eating and recovery. I cannot say that I feel stronger than before. In fact, I feel more exhausted and my body aches. However, more than these physical symptoms, I am experiencing the change in spiritual climate. It seems as though nothing has changed, yet in the midst of my fast I felt the changes of many internal things. It seems as though waking from an amazing dream to return to the usuals of life.
Intimacy was all I had to rest upon, now I am not sure of my own heart. Where am I? What do I do now? Where do I go? Where will you lead me?
These are the questions I ask in the moments of silence.
I am waiting for the hurricane to blow. Tommorrow it will come and perhaps I will have an answer. Will the floods wash away the idols? God sends His flood and rain comes and washes away the idols from the heart, but they can be remade and rebuilt by human hands again. They must be forgotten...they must be removed by the hands that made them. If God destroys them, let those who made them heed His wrath and fall upon His grace lest they face judgement!
Let me not grow tired of prayer and seeking God in my free time. Let me ask with confidence and expectation. Let my prayers be filled with faith and my words with boldness. Let not the fire cease to burn, but let my light shine. Amen.